mmm ok !

be nice and ill be nice ...
be stupid and i will be .... stupid ....
*hugs*

whassup !

whats on your mind ? sex ? well take a cold shower then ffs !

uhhm

lol i am filling my block diffrently ... *hugs and kisses on everyone*

Way of the Universe

About Light The concept ”light” is a most misunderstood term. True light is awesome. It is so far beyond its common English usage in conjunction with such things as neon, sun, flash, bud and; ”do you have a light please?” etc. Let it put it this way; ”we are victims of indirect lighting’. Whatever romance we have created by using light in this manner has now lost its charm. Direct lighting is the wave of the future. As mission members, we are specifically here to plug into that high-voltage line. Let us become conscious of this word’s meaning as we use it. Light is the force of reclamation, stewarded by the power of creation. Light is nothing less than life itself. ABOUT EXTRATERRESTRIALS An extraterrestrial is not an alien. An alien is an alien. An extraterrestrial is a responsible citizen of the cosmos, not a foreigner adrift among the stars. Extraterrestrials are representatives of light, protectors of life, and lovers of the planets. They are indigenous to any planet they happen to be on by virtue of their citizenship, regardless of their planet of origin. An extraterrestrial is a being who is in sympathetic harmony with the essence of its genesis. ABOUT ALIENS There are people on earth who have expressed a certain neurotic fear about an alien invasion. That fear has been triggered by a nagging sense that in a limitless universe there just might be other intelligent life. We need not scour the skies for evidence of an alien invasion. Look around you instead. Look at those who are peddling fear, vending death, and poisoning the planet. Look at those who hide the truth so that the power they have derived from lying will not be threatened. This is the alien invasion people worry about, the one which is externalized and fear. It is also the one that surrounds us and the one we have been living for thousands of years. There is no point in fearing an invasion of aliens, since the invasion has already happened and the aliens are already here. The invitation to enter into the light is extended to all humankind, aliens included, for aliens are only extraterrestrials who have chosen to stand in the darkness, live a lie, and wear a disguise. The Dimensional Shift: Time/space anomalies are being experienced on our planet at this very moment. Most people have the nagging sense that there isn’t as much time as there used to be. This is usually expressed as; ”isn’t time flying? The reason for this sensation of less time is because there is less time. In order for a dimensional shift to occur, time is collapsing to create a new dimensional space. Conversely, space is collapsing to create a new dimensional time. Intelligence: We have noticed that your idea of intelligence and our idea of intelligence have very little to do with one another. For instance, you call yourselves an intelligent species, yet you are dangerously close to make your planet uninhabitable by anything other than asphalt. You have also managed to place yourselves at the top of the endangered-species list. May we point out that even a virus demonstrates a more astute grasp of its situation than that. The only reason a virus is inclined to trash out its environment is in its well-calculated attempt to maintain its life. Intelligence is the force of life expressing itself in created form It exists in all life, regardless of whether it has a brain or not. Through the misuse of your mental processes, you have come to regard intelligence as the part of one-upmanship in acts of spiritual barbarism. You have somehow managed to reduce rationality to mental faculty that enables you to grab the most the fastest. Meanwhile, true intelligence is an alignment with the matrix of creation and its source. It is an allegiance to light and an embracing of life, not a demonstration of how adept you are at the act of denial. Reality: This is a difficult word to define because there really isn’t any such thing. What we mean by that is that there is no single reality, here or anywhere else. There are as many different realities on this planet as there are people alive to create them all. And what passes for global reality is merely a group consensus on a few minor points. From there on out, it’s every man and woman for him or herself. The reality that you live is nothing more than an audio-visual demonstration of where your attention is. The GREAT AWAKENING: The 1990s are the decade of The Great Awakening. By comparison, the ’90s are destined to make the 60s look like little more than an episode out of ”Leave it to the Beaver.” In this decade, the second wave of extraterrestrials will remember who they are. This newly awakening group constitutes the majority of the beings on this planet who are carrying within their genetic structure the seeds of a new consciousness. This tide of consciousness is an unstoppable force, and its impact is destined to sweep across and shape the borders of the incoming millennium. The Great Awakening is a manifestation of the Victory of Light that has already been accomplished beyond this plane and now has only to play itself out on this dimension. STARSEED-THE NEXT GENERATION: Another great source of assistance on this mission will be extended to you by the generation that follows. This is primarily directed at the vanguard of this mission whose task is to cut the pathway to a new civilization. However, the generation that you have prepared the way for is right behind you. They are the builders of the civilization for which you now establish the foundation.

The conversation that brigthend up my crappy day !

Shengin (07:44:50) : OMG!
Miss_Busan (07:46:21) : omg what ?
Shengin (07:47:00) : You're a fairy!!!
Shengin (07:47:06) : It just occured to me
Miss_Busan (07:47:16) : oh ?
Shengin (07:47:22) : yeah
Shengin (07:47:36) : I mean, you're wierd.... in a good way... there's no question about that
Shengin (07:47:50) : You magically enrich the lives of those around you by just BEING there
Shengin (07:47:55) : And you're super cute
Shengin (07:48:01) : It all makes sense now!
Miss_Busan (07:48:03) : ahhh =)

Got kinda bored and took some new shots while haveing this nice hair ! 

my profile shot for Miss_Busan on camfrog ! 

tryed out my new hairspray whith color ! it dosent look too bad ehh ? 

eeeeek ! ! !

tests went fast !
results comes next week hopefully ...
if they dont screw up again.....
~~~~~
9 test tubes of blood
1 swabby thingy in the mouth
1 swabby thingy on a weird location
1 swabby thingy in my nose
~~~~~
i feel .... used and .... abused....and probed like a alien ..
and everything for my own personal health...

bad girl still smokes on her Goldfied Menthol Ciggaretts ! 

a bit .... blurry ! 

dangerous ! 

Some news

are not always the best news .... for instance today i got something in the mail... i got back some test results for my illness and they want me to come back for more testing and a full health checkup again... and that oftenly means they found something wrong... and that scares me .. a lot

So ... tomorrow ill be spending time at the hospital .... Again...... God when is this going to end ?
i spent more time in a hospital the last 27 years then i have done sleeping and eating ...


//Upset Missy

Most Annnying male on camfrog !

This guy is the most annoying person i ever encounterd ... he just dident get the hint that i dident want to talk to him ....

seriusly if i dont respond after a houer a normal guy would get the hint but not this mofo !
he just won the award "most annoying male on camfrog 2005"
-------------------------------------------

Ansin (03:58:17) : hey how are you?
Ansin (04:51:50) : hi
Ansin (04:59:30) : hi
Ansin (05:00:26) : ?
Ansin (05:01:26) : how are you?
Ansin (05:03:21) : wow interesting movement
Ansin (05:03:28) : cool
Ansin (05:05:18) : you have beauutiful cute looking
Ansin (05:07:26) : al least you can say a word
Ansin (05:07:31) :
Ansin (05:10:22) : i fall in love with your leg
Ansin would like to send you a photo snapshot. Do you accept this snapshot? Yes No
Ansin (05:20:26) : you are different from us?
Ansin (05:24:27) : you are an angel ,havent blocked me yet
Ansin (05:28:58) : is that your real sound?
Ansin (05:39:16) : you are so cute
Ansin (05:40:50) : i can die for you
Ansin (05:42:44) : `i d die for you i d cry for you ` i think there is a song about it
Ansin (05:44:32) : use right leg a little
Ansin (05:46:24) : what kinda music do you listen , doom metal?
Ansin (05:48:09) : i prefer to you `Anathema`
Ansin (05:48:55) : or ` My Dying Bride`
Ansin (05:49:46) : you have to use it rarely
Ansin (05:49:58) : think your healty
Ansin (05:51:31) : where are you from? we dont seem to be from same earth
Ansin (05:53:24) : al least i know my continent what is yours? left corner of hell?
Ansin (05:58:37) : go till see yellow door then turn left and keep going you will see the big fire and a man there we call him as `Evil` then you can ask him the way of heaven
Ansin (06:01:17) : plz block me i cant resist
Ansin (06:01:29) : give my lesson to me
Ansin (06:01:58) : i am gonna cut myself
Ansin (06:06:07) : first take a knife then ,close your eye then shake it random, it will find the best way
Ansin (06:06:50) : so there is no need to have skill
Ansin (06:09:23) : i was speakong generally not targeted you
Ansin (06:12:32) : miss busan cant you ban oro kick people to have a blue clour ?
Ansin (06:14:50) : i cant follow to room all the time. can you write here .... .your boss doesnt allow you to talk here?
Ansin (06:14:59) : is there any rule about that?
Ansin (06:20:57) : arent you one of stuff in here?
Ansin (06:22:40) : what is your differences that i cant do?
Ansin (06:23:04) : as be blue one?
Ansin (06:25:07) : we are same here just you are blue... actually i hate blue better to be black
Ansin (06:27:34) : this is my nineth orgasm
Ansin (06:28:01) : and you should chace your message you wrote wrong
Ansin (06:28:13) : orgams = orgasm
Ansin (06:28:27) : i realized new sorry about it
Ansin (06:30:16) : ```thanks for alerting me ```
Ansin (06:32:12) :
Ansin (06:35:58) : came back
Ansin (06:36:03) : i need you
Ansin (06:36:42) : if i see you little more i could see you in my dreams maybe
Ansin (06:47:55) : lady i know you are there...
Ansin (06:48:24) : look you arent in the room so you can talk with using IM
Ansin (06:50:02) : lady ,,,i promise i wont tell it to your bosses
Ansin (07:15:29) : miss, i miss you
Ansin (07:18:36) : lady amidala , answer to m call
Ansin (07:22:04) : here you are
Ansin (07:22:11) : thank god to see you again
Ansin (07:27:39) : your cam is so high
Ansin (07:27:47) : put it down little
Ansin (07:29:36) : what do you interest in? killing pets?
Ansin (07:32:35) : you have to set your cam`s fine tuning
Ansin (07:32:52) : it looks cloudly
Ansin (07:33:10) : foggy
Ansin (07:33:11) : not clear
Ansin (07:34:35) : am i boring you?
Ansin (07:37:10) : i really want to know what is your job?
Ansin (07:37:11) : are you married? i dont think so
Ansin (07:38:14) : are you kidding me?
Ansin (07:38:14) : if you dont wanna talk, i wasnt blocked ?
Ansin (07:38:31) : i used to support LA not Miami
Ansin (07:39:16) : silly people are there ,,, without you
Ansin (07:39:34) : what is your IQ you know it?
Ansin (07:41:04) : fine as you wish my lady
Ansin (07:41:47) : what you want me to do?
Ansin (07:44:12) : i am waiting for,, before you ignore me tell me because i wanna close my eyes
Ansin (07:45:10) : and why are you looking at me ? areyou taking care of me?
Ansin (07:46:55) : wow i dont know how to send prv message
Ansin (07:47:14) : teach me my lady
Ansin (07:48:02) : i cant take my eyes on you
Ansin (07:48:20) : himm i dont wanna be blue i love darkness
Ansin (07:49:06) : does room see this message?
Ansin (07:50:30) : ?
Ansin (07:51:38) : i asked a question , answer me
Ansin (07:51:49) : if you want
Ansin (07:53:18) : i am tired to ask you
Ansin (07:53:34) : what kind of girl yoo are?
Ansin (07:54:25) : i know you are there ,sitting like 1 min before
Ansin (07:57:09) : hey il bambino mi risponde
Ansin (07:58:44) : ich interessiere mich Sie
Ansin (07:59:10) : which language do you talk ? tell me i can learn it for you
Ansin (08:01:03) : german,italian,turkish,spanish,???? just give me a name
Ansin (08:05:20) : come to my temp
Ansin (08:19:22) : i didnt forget you
Ansin (08:26:11) : i must go to sleep now
Ansin (08:26:27) : sorry miss i leave you alone
Ansin (09:10:07) : i know
Ansin (09:10:14) : you are busy

Yes Boys and Girls i am no longer single ... live whith it and deal whith it i dident want you guys to know until i knew where we where standing ...and now i know ...  

To sum my 27th b-day up

so this day ends well ..... i am dept free (no more fucking payments on my ex bf´s car from 7 years ago and my laptop is actully payed for and .... i dont owe anyone anything !)
and i have a glitter bug ! (the sextoy)
and i got a pack of 65 pens (most of them where chalk and i actully got some coal) and some new brushes ...old brush set was old and some more acrylic paint so i can start painting again .... now i only need paper ! or canvas !

and of course my butterfly necklace that i am wearing but that was from my friends last month on alternigth .... it was also a pre b-day gift ..... i love it !

*hugs and kisses*

oh btw i ate cake 3 times and moms home made baked buns ! good god there good !
*pukish*

//Marina

A Card !

i got a cute frog card whith 3 small frogs
singing happy b-day ! it was so cute !


Marina,

Wishing you a Wonderful Birthday!

From your friends at Care2.com.

"A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside."

~ Denis Waitley ~

A B-Day Present !

Thanks Joel i love my new toy

that and beeing out of dept was the best present i could get pre my b-day .... not that i will get more stuff but still ! i am pretty happy as i am !


*hugs and kisses*

Age Paranoia

one day left then i am 27

i dont wanna get older its a curse i tell you .... i do not want to get older ... its scary and extremly dangerous and its full off pain ... i really do not whish to get older .... sure i reversed my body from 40 down to 26 but now im gonna be 27 .... i dont want to get old please let me stay 26 for the rest of my life

and i have grey hairs but hey i had those since i was 18 ... i just dye over them .....
and nooooooooo
i dont want to pretty please let me just sleep through the next few days i really do not want to grow old ....

//MissY

The life and times of a not so evil eyes: April 2005

The life and times of a not so evil eyes: April 2005



need to have Luke on first page or in current list ! =) so i added him again !

erhhm

i thougth some more about my current situation and i realized why
i am growing grey hairs .... i finally figured it out .....

the sollution is simple.... i worry too much about everyone and everything
i think i need a serious break from everyone that isent already close to me ...

its simple i need a break .... just 10 houers of not haveing to care for
anyone but myself would be great ....

its almost motivating me to go back to asherons call and start up a new accont and start over on a server i never played on earlyier ... just so no friends can disturb me and yes i would probobly build up my aluvian bow princess again .... i loved playing aluvian and i loved every damn bow i had ...
i already have the start template in my head i still know what works and not ....
the only thing i DONT have is the back up from old time friends ... i miss a lot of the old gang ....
and i know some of them never will come back ... and thats just life..
i am republishing a old story that was written in the sprit of asherons call
and then i migth actully write a sequal on my own due to so many things that
happend after that story was written...

-------------

The Revolving Door
By Kiaya Elam 

Peanut leaned back against a rock looking down into the 
valley she once thought of as home. Soon that would all 
change, soon the portal would be opened and she would leave 
this world just as she came, alone. She wore a Hoary 
Mattekar Robe and took care to run a hand down the soft 
material which she had sought long and hard for. How many 
had she killed before finding the one who yielded the skin 
to make the fine robe? She didn’t trade for it, purchase 
one on the open market, nor was she gifted with one by a 
friend. No, she earned it and the robe was one of the few 
things she wouldn’t part with. Asheron gave her the choice 
of leaving with one other thing, of course there was no 
thought in what it would be, her red Chiran armor. 

Peanut came into the land of Dereth with nothing more then 
an empty pack. Lord Asheron gave people little choice when 
he called them to aid in his fight against the evil that 
walked the land. Evil growing more and more each day with 
fewer people to fight, she felt guilty about leaving her 
friends behind, again, there was no choice in the matter; 
for when Asheron made up his mind about something there was 
no arguing with him and he was ready to release her, she’d 
done all he could ask of her. 

“You didn’t think we’d allow you to leave without a 
farewell did you?” 

Peanut looked up from where she was sitting and held her 
hand up to shade the sun from her eyes. There standing 
before her was her wife and love Busan. She stood quickly 
shaking the robe of any dirt which might have collected and 
gave her wife a warm hug and passionate kiss. “I didn’t 
think you’d want to see me leave.” She offered in 
explanation although she knew she needed none. 

“Well I don’t but the decision isn’t mine: it’s always been 
yours and I wouldn’t even think of asking you to stay 
longer then you want to.” 

“Its not that easy Busan and you know it.” 

“I know, but what else can I say without the guilt being 
thicker then it already is.” 

“True, now just sit with me and enjoy my last sunset in 
this cursed land.” 

Busan didn’t need to be asked twice and joined her wife in 
front of the rock, using it as a backrest. Busan watched 
Peanut out of the corner of her eyes wanting to memorize 
everything about her. Although she hadn’t known her as well 
as some, what she did know was that Peanut led a simple 
life. She became part of Rival’s monarchy in her early 
years, often keeping to herself and learning her craft in 
the art of magic. 'Four Schooled' is what they called it. 
It was one of the hardest classes of warriors to learn but 
also one of the most rewarding. When Rival departed the 
land, Peanut tried to find another family to belong to, but 
it just wasn’t her style. Leaving that monarchy and taking 
a few vassals with her, she found that heading out on her 
own was one of the best things she’d ever done; no one to 
report to, no one to worry about, as her vassals could damn 
well take care of themselves. 

Peanut never really called any place home on Dereth. She 
had fond memories of Baishi before her family had grown 
large enough to buy a mansion of their own. Thinking back, 
Busan often wondered how Peanut managed to gather such a 
large force behind her, supporting her, loving her. For a 
woman who would rather hunt alone then with any one 
particular person, she had created quite a monarchy known 
as the House of Virindi. 

Peanut glanced over at Busan and caught the odd look in her 
eyes. “What is it?” 
“Nothing.” Busan blushed profusely, looking away to keep 
from admitting she was silently wishing Peanut wouldn’t 
leave. 

Peanut respected her wish to remain silent and looked back 
over the valley towards the setting sun. The brilliant 
colors of reds, pinks and violets flooded the edge of the 
valley in a dance of color. Off in the distance the cry of 
some banderlings snapped Peanut into standing up and 
brandishing her wand. 

“Easy girl, your fight here has ended.” 

“CapFan.” Peanut sighed deeply putting the wand away 
turning to face him. “I swear I’ll never be able to listen 
to the sounds of the forest again without wanting or 
needing to kill something.” 

CapFan placed a protective arm around her shoulders, not 
quite a hug but enough to show a bit of emotion as well as 
support. “Go home Peanut with our blessings.” 

“Like I need your blessings, more like a curse and slap on 
the ars….” 

“PEANUT!” Busan shouted forcefully with a chuckle as she 
joined Peanut and CapFan. She drew Peanut into a tight 
embrace then stepped back away from her. 

Peanut turned to both of them stepping away and towards the 
portal which opened as the last of the sun set over the 
skyline. “Take care of our family CapFan.” 

“Dear friend.” CapFan hugged Peanut quickly. They were the 
oldest of friends, and could finish each other’s sentences 
without any thought and ran the monarchy together, making 
it one of the best in the land and much sought after by 
others. Stepping back he knew those two words were all 
Peanut needed to hear. 

Peanut nodded to CapFan with a small grin then kissed Busan 
one last time. “Take care of him.” With that she 
disappeared into the portal returning to her world. 

------------------------
and as you probobly figured out....
My Ingame name the last 4 years 
was Miss Busan but everyone referd to me as Missy or Busan
before Miss Busan was created i had my Alpha Girl and LaNyk
LaNyk´s mules are actully 3 days older
then LaNyk but she was the main char... 
a fiesty redhead axe chick that rocked in Player Vs Player 
until everyone started using macros
then after a while i got kinda bored and decided that 
re rolling my chars where not a option.... so instead ...
i got a new accont
and thats where Alpha Girl came in to the picture !
my first Aluvian Princess !
and of course i had to make her in to a Axe chick
becouse i couldent really see her as a sword or mage ... 
and just some months before i
quit playing whith her i turned her in to a .... 
crossbow chick becouse i found it easyier
to figth from distance
then of course Miss Busan came along  she kicked ass 
no matter what time of the day it was !.... 
shes the only one i botherd to maintain 
and she still exists
but shes wearing a diffrent monarchy tag then the rest ... 
since i gave that accont to one of the persons
that meant most for me
my truthful vassal and monarch on a diffrent server ...
U S Blues !
he is the only person that stayed 100 % honest whith me
and we still email on and off and god i whish
i could be whith him 
i honestly miss him and his funny sence of humor 
theres so much i could sit here and type down about
those precious years 
in asherons call 
theres also one person more that i truely love
from the bottom of my toes 
and his ingame name was
Ashaman (yeah yeah i know hes a male playing a female char
so what? 
i still love him tho)
he also make me wounder ... what happend to him .... 
i dont know and i will never know if he ever got
everything worked out
since i lost his adress and i know he moved
from his old rl adress 
since the real mail i sent came back ....

(tryed sending him and his kid christmas gifts last year ... 
sent them in the begining of november and they came back)


anyways i miss them all
but its time for me to stop thinking of everything now

*hugs and kisses on everyone*

//Missy

random thougths of today

im still woundering how many times the singer in the group kansas got his balls twisted while recoording the song "Bells of saint James"
becouse he sounds like hes really in pain whith singing parts of it....


and i also wounder why food figths are fun

theres a lot of things i will never know for instance

What really happend to the dinosaurs ?
can someone who lived at that time period please tell me ?
becouse i give a flying shit what science says becouse they all have diffrent theorys .... if they atleast could agree on something wouldent it all be a whole lot easyier ?

and heres a little part on swedish due to me not whishing to direct this at the wrong persons and yes ill translate it in to english lower down ...

Du vet vem du är ... varför jävlas du med mig ... låt mig vara ifred för fan ... jag har inte bett om att du ska komma tillbaxs in i mitt liv och förstöra det igen .... låt mig vara .... jag vill inte fly igen ... är ganska trött på att flytta runt och gömma mig bara för att du ska få utlopp för dina sadistiska sidor ... du skulle ha dödat mig då du kunde istället för att göra det nu 5 år senare... det enda som händer i nuläget är att dina kompisar hammnar i fängelset med dig igen ....
så 4 dödshot innan jag fyller år .... kommer det femte på lördag då jag ska ha fest eller ?
jag vet att jag inte är mer eller mindre värd .... jag vet att jag har lika stor rätt att leva som du ...och som alla andra människor på den här planeten... och ja jag har ingen jag älskar som älskar mig tillbaxs på samma sätt så vad ? det betyder inte så mycket för mig just nu.... har andra prioriteringar och jag har en massa andra saker som måste tas hand om i första hand...

-----
english edited translation
you know who you are why are you fucking whith me ?
let me be alone for fucksake
i havent asked for you to come back in to my life and mess it up again
LET ME BE
i do not want to run away again
i am tierd of moving around and hideing just becouse you have the sadistic urge of killing me
i still think you should have finished me off 5 years ago that would have saved me so much time and so much pain and so many other things...
and hey 4 deaththreats are 4 to many ... and last deaththreat ... will it come under my b-day party on saturday ?

and i know my value ... i am worth just as much as any other living human on this planet ..
sure i dont have someone that loves me the same way i love them but that dosent matter for me at the moment i have other prioritys and other things that needs to be taken care off.
--------

that sums up whats on my mind at the moment now over to a big brother report

hes doing ok and are probobly going to be home some time next week hopefully god i look forward to see him !

fill in the blanks and email me a pic whith the restults

About Me...

Marital Status
Perfect Partner
Interests
Makes Me Happy
Makes Me Sad
Bad Habits
Hair
Eyes
Height

My Favourite...
Food
Music
TV Show
Author
MovieNight Club / Bar
Animal

email the results whith a pic of you to ...
Missy.swe@gmail.com

Love Me Tender

"The truth, is you can slit my throat and with my one last ghasp of breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt"- Taking Back Sunday


so i decided to edit this post a third time ....
the reason is simple ...
no matter what i write everyone seems to take it wrong
the previous post was directed at a nasty nasty male in the town i CURRENTLY live in
i was upset and i still am upset since nethier J or N
has stopped the bullshit drama .... i have one person to thank
N ex boyfriend ... L
hes also My ex Boyfriend
and hes slowly working his sneaky way back in to my life
and i DO NOT want that to happend
becouse then it will be more allowded for the two nasty persons
to countinueing spreading bullshit and creating more dramas around me
i cant fucking stand it as it is today ... just imagine letting it envolve for one more week or two
id be ready to kill myself in seconds if that happend ...

Nina you are a nasty person i hope you and Jocke get many ugly kids...


----------------------
update on my brother ... hes ok and are still alive
thats good but i still need to get my ass over to uk to meet up whith friends
and hey ... i decided to fuck london ... im going countryside instead..
that means ... Hi girls im gonna come hug you !

-----
and sorry Friend if you thougth this post was about you ....

thinking really hard

~~all alone i walk and whith noone i talk
so lonely~~

that is how i feel but i know the reality is diffrent .... atleast since i marryied my rampant rabbit !

~~ill be by your side when you dont need it
becouse when you need it the most i will stab you in your back~~

Thank you for proving your point sweety .... i knew you had it in you as well even tho your upstraigth forward going "truth"
its always going to be like this whith you rigth ?
---------------

and now over to emergency oriented stuff .... my brother is ill and in a hospital in london ... and i want to go get him but unfortanly i cant go get him ... my passport is out of date and the local copstation takes 3 days to fix a new passport ... i need to get fucking there rigth fucking now !
and then theres a problem whith finding a airline that only sells one way tickets ...

so this is a list of things i need to do asp ...

Fix a passport
Fix a visa card
switch currency from swedish in to pounds
book a hotel
book a fligth
pack the most important things
get my ass going Pronto !

and thank you my most hated ex relative !
if it wherent for you i would never know there was a emergency at all ...

*just hopes that Daniel makes it a little bit longer and that he pulls out of it ok*

//Heartbroken Marina

muahaha

i am in a weird mood ... something is really wrong and i cant pinpoint it .... i better not try pinpointing it .. i migth be wrong in the end .... the bitter sweet end ....

why do peapole take me for granted ? dont they know i have feelings too ?

why am i always the first one to admit that i made misstakes ....
i never hear the other part/person admit that they made a misstake....

so i must be gullable and stupid in the long run...


~~~~
i have a lot on my mind rigth now and it is a bit messy ....
~~~~
i spent 13 houers at the hospital .... i skipped meds and got ill ... my kidneys hurted a lot and i was in real pain it hurt so bad that i almost asked my mother to drive me to a vet and put me to sleep ....

thats the last days real part of me you get ....

*hugs and kisses*

Friends

Are we friends
Or are we not?

You told me once
But I forgot.

So tell me now
And tell me true.

So I can say...
"I'm here for you."

Of all the friends
I've ever met,

You're the one
I won't forget.

And if I die
Before you do,

I'll go to heaven
And wait for you.

If you are not there by Judgement Day
I'll know you went the other way

I'll give the angels
Back their wings

And risk the loss
Of everything.

Only to prove my friendship is true...
I'll go to hell to be with YOU!!!

(i did not write that but i do mean it ... becouse thats how much my friends are worth to me)

The life and times of a not so evil eyes

The life and times of a not so evil eyes

a friends blog ! hes like totally great to talk whith and too when i need it and of course it goes both ways ! i listnen to him just as well becouse hes smart intelligent and has a lot in common whith me ! i really like him !

So mad

say what you want i dont care

i dont care anymore ....
i am too fucking tierd to care
about anything rigth now to
much has happend the last 24
houers ... broken balcony window...
deaththreat and more
shit .... and yes a insane ex
boyfriend got arrested again
.... why does this happend to me ..


i was happy just a houer ago ....
and now i totally switched
mood ... thank you whoever you are
that made me realize that
my life purely sucks ... i was beeing
way to happy for my
own good ....
thank you so fucking much for this ...
your welcome to ruin the rest
of my fucking life as well becouse
rigth now i dont give a shit about tomorrow ...

weird dreams attacking me

once again i get this weird dreams .... god ... i dont know why ... but here it is anyway ...


i was out orienting whith my mother and a friend of my mother .... and after we got lost i ended up in a school ... whith only alternative peapole in ... i jumped the stairs like a frog like nothing meet a guy who made sence and then we suddenly was on the bathroom discussing what year and what date it was .... and i realized i was only ....100 years pushed forward in to the future (well more likely in another dimension) and my age was reversed back to 16 or 17 ... and i meet a lot of peapole that i apperently dident know in this dimension ....

then it hit me .... if i am here ... who is in my dimension and timeperiod and what if that person succeds on makeing a switch again ..i really dident want to go back at all .... i was happy there .... so now we sat outside and talked whith peapole again ...
and they talked to me like if they known me a long time witch confused me and apperently i was registerd to that school so i had to go on a class so i went up the stairs and sat down in the classroom to get next supprise ....

my teatcher .... came in and told everyone else to leave ...and he came slowly up to me and said ... hi there you do not belong here and you know it .... but you seem a bit more alive then the person we sent to your dimension since she was more or less in a coma becouse we tryed to kill her ... and now that when you know ... would you like to stay here and actully learn something instead of beeing in your dimension where you dont matter at all ?


my first response was ... sure i will stay if you can direct me to a certain person that died in my dimension when i was about this age ... and he said ... can you please say that you dont reqognise me ? and i took a long hard look at him and i still dident get it ....

and then he said ... nevermind you will never find what you are looking for here and its better if you move on whith someone else and then it hit me like ligthning .... he was peter and he was .... old ..... Yuck !

and then next thing hit me ... if i was gonna date anyone my own apperent age at the time i would be mentally 100 years behind/older and that sucked so i asked him if he could transfear another person from my dimension in to this one and make him as young as me ...or 5-6 years older and he said .... yes i can do it but then YOU have to find his body he has in here and that is going to be hard ... but what if you like that person in his current form why cant you just accept the fact that your always going to be older and probobly more .... smart ..... since in this dimension everyone more or less do whatever they want when they want so you dont have to think about doing something you dont want ...and my first response was ..... HUH ?

you mean that we dont have any rules and we dont have anyone telling us whats rigth and wrong .....
how in hell have everything worked here ?
who is in charge and why are you looking at me in that weird way .... his response was ... im bored lets have sex .... and i said ... why ?

and then i woke up

and thats was it .... i get weird dreams on and off but this one took this year´s award for beeing .... Alternative ....

tested diffrent sizes

to se if it really matterd took and tested diffrent camsizes in camfrog to make a statement ! and i made the link in the pic
i am good !

back to normal hair ! Yay !! *happy* 

Alternigth/2005-04-30

Me and Thomas .... Me Shit assed drunk/half asleep and Thomas hanged over from the day before ..... and yes we did make out and we had fun and then he left .... and i had way more fun LOL but no sex for ethier one of us ! this is the first time in my life i actully feelt .... old .... most fun nigth i had in years ! meet lots of friends and made a couple of new friends and oh yes ... before i forget ... i dident have sex .... *happy* and no i dident meet up whith Vicktor and Pungis or Ante but i DID steal a couple of hugs from Mikael and Asta ohhh and yeah i ran in to a annoying ex ... but that was excpected .... he was just annoying but he dident ruin my nigth as he usally tend to do =) so in general ..... this weekend .... ROCKED !! and 28th of may ill be back at next party .... but the url to that party is .... here !

me when i got home ..... tierd outpartyd and god .... so happy to be home !