erhhm

i thougth some more about my current situation and i realized why
i am growing grey hairs .... i finally figured it out .....

the sollution is simple.... i worry too much about everyone and everything
i think i need a serious break from everyone that isent already close to me ...

its simple i need a break .... just 10 houers of not haveing to care for
anyone but myself would be great ....

its almost motivating me to go back to asherons call and start up a new accont and start over on a server i never played on earlyier ... just so no friends can disturb me and yes i would probobly build up my aluvian bow princess again .... i loved playing aluvian and i loved every damn bow i had ...
i already have the start template in my head i still know what works and not ....
the only thing i DONT have is the back up from old time friends ... i miss a lot of the old gang ....
and i know some of them never will come back ... and thats just life..
i am republishing a old story that was written in the sprit of asherons call
and then i migth actully write a sequal on my own due to so many things that
happend after that story was written...

-------------

The Revolving Door
By Kiaya Elam 

Peanut leaned back against a rock looking down into the 
valley she once thought of as home. Soon that would all 
change, soon the portal would be opened and she would leave 
this world just as she came, alone. She wore a Hoary 
Mattekar Robe and took care to run a hand down the soft 
material which she had sought long and hard for. How many 
had she killed before finding the one who yielded the skin 
to make the fine robe? She didn’t trade for it, purchase 
one on the open market, nor was she gifted with one by a 
friend. No, she earned it and the robe was one of the few 
things she wouldn’t part with. Asheron gave her the choice 
of leaving with one other thing, of course there was no 
thought in what it would be, her red Chiran armor. 

Peanut came into the land of Dereth with nothing more then 
an empty pack. Lord Asheron gave people little choice when 
he called them to aid in his fight against the evil that 
walked the land. Evil growing more and more each day with 
fewer people to fight, she felt guilty about leaving her 
friends behind, again, there was no choice in the matter; 
for when Asheron made up his mind about something there was 
no arguing with him and he was ready to release her, she’d 
done all he could ask of her. 

“You didn’t think we’d allow you to leave without a 
farewell did you?” 

Peanut looked up from where she was sitting and held her 
hand up to shade the sun from her eyes. There standing 
before her was her wife and love Busan. She stood quickly 
shaking the robe of any dirt which might have collected and 
gave her wife a warm hug and passionate kiss. “I didn’t 
think you’d want to see me leave.” She offered in 
explanation although she knew she needed none. 

“Well I don’t but the decision isn’t mine: it’s always been 
yours and I wouldn’t even think of asking you to stay 
longer then you want to.” 

“Its not that easy Busan and you know it.” 

“I know, but what else can I say without the guilt being 
thicker then it already is.” 

“True, now just sit with me and enjoy my last sunset in 
this cursed land.” 

Busan didn’t need to be asked twice and joined her wife in 
front of the rock, using it as a backrest. Busan watched 
Peanut out of the corner of her eyes wanting to memorize 
everything about her. Although she hadn’t known her as well 
as some, what she did know was that Peanut led a simple 
life. She became part of Rival’s monarchy in her early 
years, often keeping to herself and learning her craft in 
the art of magic. 'Four Schooled' is what they called it. 
It was one of the hardest classes of warriors to learn but 
also one of the most rewarding. When Rival departed the 
land, Peanut tried to find another family to belong to, but 
it just wasn’t her style. Leaving that monarchy and taking 
a few vassals with her, she found that heading out on her 
own was one of the best things she’d ever done; no one to 
report to, no one to worry about, as her vassals could damn 
well take care of themselves. 

Peanut never really called any place home on Dereth. She 
had fond memories of Baishi before her family had grown 
large enough to buy a mansion of their own. Thinking back, 
Busan often wondered how Peanut managed to gather such a 
large force behind her, supporting her, loving her. For a 
woman who would rather hunt alone then with any one 
particular person, she had created quite a monarchy known 
as the House of Virindi. 

Peanut glanced over at Busan and caught the odd look in her 
eyes. “What is it?” 
“Nothing.” Busan blushed profusely, looking away to keep 
from admitting she was silently wishing Peanut wouldn’t 
leave. 

Peanut respected her wish to remain silent and looked back 
over the valley towards the setting sun. The brilliant 
colors of reds, pinks and violets flooded the edge of the 
valley in a dance of color. Off in the distance the cry of 
some banderlings snapped Peanut into standing up and 
brandishing her wand. 

“Easy girl, your fight here has ended.” 

“CapFan.” Peanut sighed deeply putting the wand away 
turning to face him. “I swear I’ll never be able to listen 
to the sounds of the forest again without wanting or 
needing to kill something.” 

CapFan placed a protective arm around her shoulders, not 
quite a hug but enough to show a bit of emotion as well as 
support. “Go home Peanut with our blessings.” 

“Like I need your blessings, more like a curse and slap on 
the ars….” 

“PEANUT!” Busan shouted forcefully with a chuckle as she 
joined Peanut and CapFan. She drew Peanut into a tight 
embrace then stepped back away from her. 

Peanut turned to both of them stepping away and towards the 
portal which opened as the last of the sun set over the 
skyline. “Take care of our family CapFan.” 

“Dear friend.” CapFan hugged Peanut quickly. They were the 
oldest of friends, and could finish each other’s sentences 
without any thought and ran the monarchy together, making 
it one of the best in the land and much sought after by 
others. Stepping back he knew those two words were all 
Peanut needed to hear. 

Peanut nodded to CapFan with a small grin then kissed Busan 
one last time. “Take care of him.” With that she 
disappeared into the portal returning to her world. 

------------------------
and as you probobly figured out....
My Ingame name the last 4 years 
was Miss Busan but everyone referd to me as Missy or Busan
before Miss Busan was created i had my Alpha Girl and LaNyk
LaNyk´s mules are actully 3 days older
then LaNyk but she was the main char... 
a fiesty redhead axe chick that rocked in Player Vs Player 
until everyone started using macros
then after a while i got kinda bored and decided that 
re rolling my chars where not a option.... so instead ...
i got a new accont
and thats where Alpha Girl came in to the picture !
my first Aluvian Princess !
and of course i had to make her in to a Axe chick
becouse i couldent really see her as a sword or mage ... 
and just some months before i
quit playing whith her i turned her in to a .... 
crossbow chick becouse i found it easyier
to figth from distance
then of course Miss Busan came along  she kicked ass 
no matter what time of the day it was !.... 
shes the only one i botherd to maintain 
and she still exists
but shes wearing a diffrent monarchy tag then the rest ... 
since i gave that accont to one of the persons
that meant most for me
my truthful vassal and monarch on a diffrent server ...
U S Blues !
he is the only person that stayed 100 % honest whith me
and we still email on and off and god i whish
i could be whith him 
i honestly miss him and his funny sence of humor 
theres so much i could sit here and type down about
those precious years 
in asherons call 
theres also one person more that i truely love
from the bottom of my toes 
and his ingame name was
Ashaman (yeah yeah i know hes a male playing a female char
so what? 
i still love him tho)
he also make me wounder ... what happend to him .... 
i dont know and i will never know if he ever got
everything worked out
since i lost his adress and i know he moved
from his old rl adress 
since the real mail i sent came back ....

(tryed sending him and his kid christmas gifts last year ... 
sent them in the begining of november and they came back)


anyways i miss them all
but its time for me to stop thinking of everything now

*hugs and kisses on everyone*

//Missy