To Hell and Back

i tryed sleeping it off the last couple of days but now i
just cant ignore it ... yes i am depressed ...i
dident wake up in my home ....becouse
what i dident know was that my stepdad was shaking me around
trying to wake me up damn him and his supprise visits.....
(sleeping pills + a lot of other meds combined) i dident
wake up in my bed i woke up at the hospital er room after
they pumped my stummach... rather unpleasant to wake up and
realizing i failed again ...

DOESENT anyone understand that I DO NOT WHISH TO LIVE for
damns sake...

and its not like they keept me there for observation ...they
dont have enoufh room so they sent me home so i can do it
all fucking over until i finally get to die


Do i Have to leave this fucking town to be able to kill
myself ???

its not like if i am cutting myself or makeing a mess .... i
just dont want to live here and now ... how hard is that to
understand ?