my mind

this cant be good ..... i am now back on shedding skin all over the place ...
its nasty ..... my arms legs face you name it .... its nasty ..... but i was thinking .... what if its supposed to be like this ... what if it makes me look younger .... is there any perks in it or am i just going to live whith it ?

i am slowly going insane .... and unfortanly theres nothing that seems to be able to stop it this time ....
everyone goes insane from time to time ... atleast once in their lifetime .. i know that .... but why now ? the timeing just isent rigth .... i need to have a clear headed mind .... i need to make desicions and its just tearing me apart faster then anything i ever fougth before ....

my world is falling apart ... and whith it goes my hopes my dreams and my future... and theres noone besides me that can face it ... it feels like i am cursed and its tearing me up inside ... i am so angry and upset and i hide it under my mask of apathy and i put on this fake smile so noone will ever know how i really feel inside ....

you want to know ..... but its best for you if you dont know ... (thats directed at myself)... i Want to know the reason why this is all hitting me in the face every day i wake up and opens my eyes and takes my first breath of air..

i also want to know what the purpose of me existing was ... becouse it really dident make much sence to me ... but ok ... not even my own mind makes sence rigth now ... i am trapped in my own unfocused brain that relives every second of all bad things that ever happend just not to myself ... to everyone that ever existed ... its like i can hear everyone at the same time and i can feel what they feelt and i can even smell things and know exatly what it is so many peapole and so many lifes whith no apperent reason to exist ...

i better stop now before my brain lets out a whole life on a sheet... its getting close to a overload of thougths running in my mind... and impressions and things i whished never happend ...

i am going insane....